even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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