You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
