well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
