Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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