Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize