I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I love you. Go after that dick
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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