If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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