i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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