Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
