i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who died my cat blue again?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
