I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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