She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
