Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
