i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
