I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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