addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
