I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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