question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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