He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
