bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
