so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
