ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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