her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
