Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
