I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i need some magic done to my vagina
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
