Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just googled if crying burns calories
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
