you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
