I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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