She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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