If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
