The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
