since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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