Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
