my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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