she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize