im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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