Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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