Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
