now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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