College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
