she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
