DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
