All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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