Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
