I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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