the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
