Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
