If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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