Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
