why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
