Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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