I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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