ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
