Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it because I queefed?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
