Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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