ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
