My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
