Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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