OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
