All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
